Okanagan & Kelowna Wedding Photography

because I am not a goddess...

February 10, 2010

via

"Life has to be discovered from moment to moment, from day to day. It has to be discovered. It cannot be taken for granted. If you take it for granted that you know life, than you are not living. Three meals a day, clothing, shelter, sex, your job, your amusements and your thinking process-- that dull repetitive process is not life. Life is something to be discovered. And you cannot discover it if you have not lost, if you have not put aside what you have found. Put aside your philosophies, religions, racial taboos, customs, and all the rest of it. For they are not life." "A man who says he knows is already dead. But the man who says "I don't know" who is discovering, finding out, who is not seeking an end, not thinking in terms of arriving or becoming-- such a man is living, and that living is truth."

words by Krishnamurti-- whether he knew about life, the heart, the mind, the spirit, well now that's opinion. Regardless, in my opinion, these words are beautiful. And I hope you enjoy them the way I do. They make me feel not quite so weird when I sit, holding my breath, thinking about what I would be if I were a goddess. Not so alone in my searching I suppose. Discovering is a much nicer picture than someone holding her breath thinking about Life. Much nicer indeed.

Clark Gable line from Postal Service via days and hours

image by Rebecca Siewert Photography WELCOME! I am Katie, a photographer, momma and wife based in Kelowna BC. My love of photography stems from a desire to tell my clients’ stories in a real, honest way. My blog space stems from a love of many things, the good, the bad, the beautiful. I believe life is an adventure and hope you’ll enjoy my thoughts along the way.

image by Rebecca Siewert Photography

WELCOME! I am Katie, a photographer, momma and wife based in Kelowna BC. My love of photography stems from a desire to tell my clients’ stories in a real, honest way. My blog space stems from a love of many things, the good, the bad, the beautiful. I believe life is an adventure and hope you’ll enjoy my thoughts along the way.

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You guys.... I haven't really been sharing my work work on here for a bit. But!!! This! This was for one of my absolute favourite companies in Kelowna. @urbanharvestokanagan has been the BEST service I have ever paid for. They are the best and oldest food delivery services in the okanagan. I started ordering their food box when it was just chad and I. And I have been a loyal customer since. Their service has saved my mom brain from imploding on itself. Every week new organic and local produce is delivered to your door, along with other goodies which you can add-on and customize every order. I LOVE the idea of supporting local growers and suppliers but the idea of stopping at 40 different vendors to grocery shop doesn't work for my life. Which is why I am forever grateful for @urbanharvestokanagan. Lisa (the owner) is an incredible woman and has an amazing staff of some of the best humans I've met. They take customer service to the next level. I can't say enough about them and tell all my friends about them when I get a chance. Working with them on this shoot was a dream so I wanted to tell you all about them in this gushy lovenote. If you live in the central okanagan I strongly suggest checking them out.

You guys.... I haven't really been sharing my work work on here for a bit. But!!! This! This was for one of my absolute favourite companies in Kelowna. @urbanharvestokanagan has been the BEST service I have ever paid for. They are the best and oldest food delivery services in the okanagan. I started ordering their food box when it was just chad and I. And I have been a loyal customer since. Their service has saved my mom brain from imploding on itself. Every week new organic and local produce is delivered to your door, along with other goodies which you can add-on and customize every order. I LOVE the idea of supporting local growers and suppliers but the idea of stopping at 40 different vendors to grocery shop doesn't work for my life. Which is why I am forever grateful for @urbanharvestokanagan. Lisa (the owner) is an incredible woman and has an amazing staff of some of the best humans I've met. They take customer service to the next level. I can't say enough about them and tell all my friends about them when I get a chance. Working with them on this shoot was a dream so I wanted to tell you all about them in this gushy lovenote. If you live in the central okanagan I strongly suggest checking them out.

Faded

During a conversation with my in-laws about the merits of the education system (they are both retired teachers and firm believers in the paved path) chad and I were joking that not going to university worked out for both of us. My father in law turned to me, with a twinkle in his eye, and said "well at least you got your MRS degree" as in at least I married up. 😖 He is one of the kindest men I know and meant it in jest but WHOA did that one take my breath away. And it still does. But why? Why does it feel like a slap in the face when other comments I know to be untrue simply roll off my back? Maybe because somewhere in the shadowy part of my gut, I believe it. Maybe by marrying young, and staying home to raise my kids, while also building up a photography business from scratch and helping chad build his company, I can't really see my own worth. Sometimes it feels like none of those things carry enough weight for me to be "enough" on my own. My autonomy as a woman is somehow muddled by my title as wife and mother. My accomplishments seem less when I have leaned on others for support, than when I have muscled through on will power. Is it any wonder so many women are afraid to reach out? In the thousands of conversations I've had with female clients, friends and entrepreneurs the underlying theme is- I'm not enough. This isn't enough. What I'm choosing to expend my energy on, isn't enough. We are afraid to lift others up for fear of dimming our own brilliance. How F//ked up is that? By having men at our side supporting us, it is somehow a crutch but a woman supporting her man is a strong woman. This story line is exhausting and archaic. There is work to be done in how we see each other's worth and value in the world. ALL of us beings stumbling around the world trying to find our way. But how do we start to see our own worth and shed some of these stories we keep believing in?

During a conversation with my in-laws about the merits of the education system (they are both retired teachers and firm believers in the paved path) chad and I were joking that not going to university worked out for both of us. My father in law turned to me, with a twinkle in his eye, and said "well at least you got your MRS degree" as in at least I married up. 😖 He is one of the kindest men I know and meant it in jest but WHOA did that one take my breath away. And it still does. But why? Why does it feel like a slap in the face when other comments I know to be untrue simply roll off my back? Maybe because somewhere in the shadowy part of my gut, I believe it. Maybe by marrying young, and staying home to raise my kids, while also building up a photography business from scratch and helping chad build his company, I can't really see my own worth. Sometimes it feels like none of those things carry enough weight for me to be "enough" on my own. My autonomy as a woman is somehow muddled by my title as wife and mother. My accomplishments seem less when I have leaned on others for support, than when I have muscled through on will power. Is it any wonder so many women are afraid to reach out? In the thousands of conversations I've had with female clients, friends and entrepreneurs the underlying theme is- I'm not enough. This isn't enough. What I'm choosing to expend my energy on, isn't enough. We are afraid to lift others up for fear of dimming our own brilliance. How F//ked up is that? By having men at our side supporting us, it is somehow a crutch but a woman supporting her man is a strong woman. This story line is exhausting and archaic. There is work to be done in how we see each other's worth and value in the world. ALL of us beings stumbling around the world trying to find our way. But how do we start to see our own worth and shed some of these stories we keep believing in?

I can feel summer slipping away and moments like these make me want to catch it in a jar and stick it on the shelf to gaze upon. Not pictured is the complete and total mess the wild children make when they tear through the morning with open arms.

I can feel summer slipping away and moments like these make me want to catch it in a jar and stick it on the shelf to gaze upon. Not pictured is the complete and total mess the wild children make when they tear through the morning with open arms.

I use to think parenting was going to be 90% blissful moments Like this. I did not anticipate trying to convince tiny humans that pants are,in fact, pretty necessary most of the time.

I use to think parenting was going to be 90% blissful moments Like this. I did not anticipate trying to convince tiny humans that pants are,in fact, pretty necessary most of the time.

Her house, the one she built with my grandpa 50+ years ago, belongs to someone else today. We're in the process of moving out of our house, the first one my husband and I designed and built with our own hands. Do you think your stories soak into the walls and stay hidden there?

Her house, the one she built with my grandpa 50+ years ago, belongs to someone else today. We're in the process of moving out of our house, the first one my husband and I designed and built with our own hands. Do you think your stories soak into the walls and stay hidden there?

There is something so beautiful about the trees in Africa. Something beyond the natural beauty. They are the meeting place for their communities, a reprieve from the sun, a place to take a break and reflect. Beneath them so much life happens. So many connections and resolutions. It got me thinking about the places every community has that are sacred meeting spots. The places we come together to unite. The coffee shops, and sports arenas and hiking paths and churches/temples/mosques. Where are the meeting places that are sacred to you?

There is something so beautiful about the trees in Africa. Something beyond the natural beauty. They are the meeting place for their communities, a reprieve from the sun, a place to take a break and reflect. Beneath them so much life happens. So many connections and resolutions. It got me thinking about the places every community has that are sacred meeting spots. The places we come together to unite. The coffee shops, and sports arenas and hiking paths and churches/temples/mosques. Where are the meeting places that are sacred to you?

Just sitting here trying to figure out something witty and wise and thought provoking to go along with this photo from today, of myself trying to look thought provoking and wise but actually I look hangry. #youwinsomeyoulosesome #selfiefail #myphoneisaniphone4becauseIdroppedmynewoneinthelake

Just sitting here trying to figure out something witty and wise and thought provoking to go along with this photo from today, of myself trying to look thought provoking and wise but actually I look hangry. #youwinsomeyoulosesome #selfiefail #myphoneisaniphone4becauseIdroppedmynewoneinthelake

That feeling of the last days of June and the taste of the long stretch of summer ahead of us. Tastes like rocket popsicles with some sand, smells like coconut suntan lotion, sounds like laughing so hard no sound comes out and feels like that moment before the heat comes on and everything’s quiet and no one is telling you what to do. Defining freedom.

That feeling of the last days of June and the taste of the long stretch of summer ahead of us. Tastes like rocket popsicles with some sand, smells like coconut suntan lotion, sounds like laughing so hard no sound comes out and feels like that moment before the heat comes on and everything’s quiet and no one is telling you what to do. Defining freedom.

If travelling has taught me anything, it’s that our likeness outweighs our differences. Our skin, our culture, our houses may look different but most of us are looking to be seen, to be heard and to feel connected. This image of Hannah preparing the corn kernels for pounding reminds me what I was thinking during our morning together. There she was prepping food for her kids, multi tasking and getting them dressed, fed, thinking about work and I kept thinking “this is what happens in my house in the mornings.” We are different, I have been blessed with privilege and opportunity not afforded to many, but the underlying current of forging our paths and doing our best is there. This print is available for sale.

If travelling has taught me anything, it’s that our likeness outweighs our differences. Our skin, our culture, our houses may look different but most of us are looking to be seen, to be heard and to feel connected. This image of Hannah preparing the corn kernels for pounding reminds me what I was thinking during our morning together. There she was prepping food for her kids, multi tasking and getting them dressed, fed, thinking about work and I kept thinking “this is what happens in my house in the mornings.” We are different, I have been blessed with privilege and opportunity not afforded to many, but the underlying current of forging our paths and doing our best is there. This print is available for sale.

I have a hard time trusting the process. I feel like we’re conditioned to think life needs to be laid out in front of us like this sweet, clean paved provincial park path where any time there is debris, it is whisked away by some park attendant. But then you hear about the trail blazers and the people who “have it together” and you start to realize they’re scared shitless of walking into the bush but something urged them forward anyways. So onwards friends. Into the wilderness. Down the dark paths and fingers crossed it leads us to greater things.

I have a hard time trusting the process. I feel like we’re conditioned to think life needs to be laid out in front of us like this sweet, clean paved provincial park path where any time there is debris, it is whisked away by some park attendant. But then you hear about the trail blazers and the people who “have it together” and you start to realize they’re scared shitless of walking into the bush but something urged them forward anyways. So onwards friends. Into the wilderness. Down the dark paths and fingers crossed it leads us to greater things.

Boop.

You know those instagram couples who take those totally amazing selfies? We not them. But if it’s about selfies or fun weekends I’ll take a good weekend any day.

You know those instagram couples who take those totally amazing selfies? We not them. But if it’s about selfies or fun weekends I’ll take a good weekend any day.

Adventures lay ahead this weekend.

Adventures lay ahead this weekend.

Oh June. Every year you just sneak up and bite me in the ass. Pretty little, vixen.

Oh June. Every year you just sneak up and bite me in the ass. Pretty little, vixen.

Weekending...

I’m always so surprised when people respond to suicide by saying it’s a selfish way out. The sentiment is not only a cruel remark for survivors to have to wade through, but it shows a lack of awareness about the nature of mental illness. Imagine the agony one must feel to end their life? To think they haven’t considered their loved ones is so short sighted. I read a beautiful analogy recently and to paraphrase- “suicidal depression is like being on the top floor of a burning building. There comes a point where jumping to your death is only slightly less terrifying than being burned alive.” Until we truly start to understand mental illness is, in fact an illness, and not something a person can carry on and muscle through, we will continue to lose people. We have to stop expecting perfection and start seeing our own humanness in each other.

I’m always so surprised when people respond to suicide by saying it’s a selfish way out. The sentiment is not only a cruel remark for survivors to have to wade through, but it shows a lack of awareness about the nature of mental illness. Imagine the agony one must feel to end their life? To think they haven’t considered their loved ones is so short sighted. I read a beautiful analogy recently and to paraphrase- “suicidal depression is like being on the top floor of a burning building. There comes a point where jumping to your death is only slightly less terrifying than being burned alive.” Until we truly start to understand mental illness is, in fact an illness, and not something a person can carry on and muscle through, we will continue to lose people. We have to stop expecting perfection and start seeing our own humanness in each other.

I’m starting a new series on here called- Shit my kids say that makes me laugh. Because I know I post a lot of feely stuff on here, but I actually don’t take life quite as seriously as this account may lead one to believe. And also I kind of do. So first up: Smith- dad I don’t know how to tell time. Chad- that’s ok sometimes I can’t tell what time it is on that clock either. Smith- actually I can!!! I know that when the big hand is pointing to a number it’s time to eat. Me- this explains so much. The end.

I’m starting a new series on here called- Shit my kids say that makes me laugh. Because I know I post a lot of feely stuff on here, but I actually don’t take life quite as seriously as this account may lead one to believe. And also I kind of do. So first up: Smith- dad I don’t know how to tell time. Chad- that’s ok sometimes I can’t tell what time it is on that clock either. Smith- actually I can!!! I know that when the big hand is pointing to a number it’s time to eat. Me- this explains so much. The end.

I sometimes think there’s too much emphasis on “focus on the positive” “just be happy” “think positive thoughts” and I understand the sentiment. But I think there’s a difference between cultivating contentment and sweeping the “negative” emotions Under the rug. If I’ve never experienced sadness can I ever understand happiness? If we shy away from one do we ever really know the other?

I sometimes think there’s too much emphasis on “focus on the positive” “just be happy” “think positive thoughts” and I understand the sentiment. But I think there’s a difference between cultivating contentment and sweeping the “negative” emotions Under the rug. If I’ve never experienced sadness can I ever understand happiness? If we shy away from one do we ever really know the other?

I’ll take one of everything please.

I’ll take one of everything please.